Two years ago at the end of my first week-long juice retreat, I wrote in the guest book:
I met someone this week. My body. Thank you!
The week pushed me physically in ways I didn’t know possible. And I felt it. I really felt it in my body, not just in my head.
Remembering my body, my physical body, is tricky for me. As I didn’t play sports growing up, I didn’t learn at an early age the limits and abilities of my physical body. Only in the last few years would I say I have connected with my body, understanding it’s healing power, the amazing and organized machine it is as well as the unexpected limitations that exist or perhaps what makes my body unique.
The body scans this week have been ok for me so far, but not so comfortable. I find myself somewhat restless and my mind wanders. I fell asleep yesterday. I remind myself to be aware of what is here, right now. And if that question is answered with ‘nothing’ that is ok. If the sensations in my body are very subtle, I notice this very subtle feeling. Also, I am reminded that simply being aware of the stress or thought I am experiencing, can help to diffuse it as well. Being aware – so easy and so difficult at the same time.
This is your experience right now. There is no right way to feel. Let go of any intentions for the breath.Simply lie here. With a sense of coming home to the body, allow the body to be just as it is. Allow yourself to be just as you are – complete and whole, resting in awareness, moment by moment.
I remind myself that this practice is like training a muscle that has been underused and it takes time to redevelop this strength in reconnecting with my body.
Meditation is not a competition with anyone else and certainly not with ourselves. It is a practice to develop over time.
I’ve also done the 10-finger gratitude exercise this week. I agree with the book – after 4, I had to really stop, think and be aware of the simple gratitude around me. But once I did, I realized how much to be grateful for and how easily and mindlessly we take it for granted.
How has your week been? How was your practice? Did you go on a mindful walk?